On Valentine's Day, we ask: What's the state of romance in America?

You can’t escape Valentine’s Day, a social and retail ritual involving exchanges of cards, flowers, chocolates, candy, and an exhaustive, sometimes expensive list of other gifts, many in eye-searing blasts of red and pink.

Feb. 14 is a cultural observance of romance and affection in the United States, and we have the receipts to prove it. Consumer spending on Valentine’s Day is expected to exceed $29 billion this year, a record.

There are different interpretations of Valentine's Day, according to Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and the author of 25 books on love, sexuality and commitment.

"The commercial romance of Valentine's Day is, hey, remind somebody that you love them and show it," she says.

The genuine observance is "an act of love that makes them know that you care," Schwartz says. "Not a cynical performance of love – it's supposed to be a real sense of connection."

Feb. 14 is a perfect time to review the state of romance and partnership in the United States, and how Valentine's Day fits into it. Here is what we found:

One-fourth of U.S. 40-year-olds have never married

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Though most Americans continue to value marriage, it's become just one of many options.

"Living together unmarried through cohabitation continues to gain ground," says Susan Brown, professor of sociology at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. "We also are seeing the emergence of long-term, committed relationships that transcend household boundaries."

More U.S. adults are cohabitating

"Couples are increasingly living apart together, reflecting a growing emphasis on flexibility and autonomy within partnerships, Brown says.

Women are more likely to try cohabitation

"Nowadays, people can customize their romantic relationship to fit their individual needs. Or, they can eschew romance altogether and certainly more people are going solo these days," Brown says.

Younger adults more likely to go unpartnered

1 in 5 of us feels lonely

How can Valentine's Day affect your finances?

How did Valentine’s Day become synonymous with romance?

Bottom line: Valentine’s Day does mean romance

Valentine's Day is important because "it reminds people to reconnect, or to start to connect," Schwartz says.

“It can help you make up for the times you didn't show someone that they’re important to you – or, if it's a budding relationship, that there's something going on here.”

There's a stagecraft of romance, Schwartz says.

“Whether it's with a fancy dinner you don't normally go to, a gift you don't usually give, or a special bottle of wine, it’s opening up your heart and letting your feelings show,” she says. “Or reigniting them if they've been lost in the pressure of everyday life.”

"It's so great to be attracted to someone and to have someone attracted to you,” Schwartz says. "There aren't many things sweeter than that."

SOURCE USA TODAY Network reporting and research; Poynter Research Center; U.S. Census Bureau; Susan Brown, Bowling Green State University; Pepper Schwartz, University of Washington; Harvard Graduate School of Education