Coach Josh Hudson on Helping Men Save Their Marriage, Even Amidst Divorce

Women are the ones choosing to leave their marriage over 70% of the time, which may reflect changing dynamics in modern relationships that require a new understanding of mutual needs. Going through a divorce is no light matter, with an average cost ranging between $15,000 and $20,000—not to mention dividing assets and the emotional toll that can result, such as depression, anxiety, and loneliness. 

But is there another side of the story that’s harder to see? 

Today, most cases are filed under no-fault divorce, but before its legalization in California in 1969, at-fault divorce was the only option for a broken union.  

What does this mean for couples?  

Ending a marriage does not need a cause, so if a woman finds herself no longer in love with her partner, this can be grounds for divorce—yet, the question remains, what underlying issues are leading to higher divorce rates, and how can couples work together to address them? 

“Historically a man simply providing resources and a home over her head was enough for ‘I will love you forever,’” says Josh Hudson, Co-Founder of Pinnacle Coaching.  

While this worked with past generations, Hudson emphasizes the importance of adapting to modern marriage.  

“Women are independent, and they don’t need to rely on men for financial support.  As a result, different needs have become more of a priority for women in marriage.  

Unfortunately, some husbands over time fail to meet those needs, simply because they are not aware of them,” he says. “They're depending on these other qualities—often overlooked by society—that men need to provide to make women happy. The lack of emphasis on these aspects is contributing to the rise in failed marriages.” 

If you relate to this situation, Hudson, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, says there is still hope.  

His coaching practice Pinnacle Coaching, Co-Founded with his business partner Marko Lamza, is dedicated to helping professionals and businessmen alter the course of their marriage, even if it’s on the brink of divorce or the divorce has already been filed. They have helped thousands of men transform their relationship and create a healthy, happy marriage.  

“We support and coach men pretty much 24/7 from the beginning until they get desired results,” Lamza says. When working with Pinnacle Coaching, men can expect to have “Individual coaching sessions, group coaching sessions, and chat support with coaches helping them navigate the process of turning around divorce and saving their marriage.”  

It takes work, awareness, correct action, and consistency for husbands to meet the needs of their wives, something Hudson believes men are not taught: It’s important to know how to show up in a long-term relationship to ensure a long-lasting relationship. “I can’t count how many times a woman has said ‘I love you, but I’m no longer in love with you,’” Hudson says, leaving men extremely confused and often caught off guard when divorce papers are served.  

“Often, when a divorce happens, it takes men by surprise. They're shocked by how fast it all unfolds. For many successful men, the issue they struggle with is thinking, 'We have a nice home, we go on vacations twice a year, and everyone says she's lucky to be with me—so why is she leaving?” 

Sometimes, couples struggle to understand each other's evolving emotional needs, so how can they reconnect and strengthen their relationship? 

First and foremost, Hudson reveals that “many men become needy, trailing their wives around the house like a lost puppy, or they turn overly logical, bringing up the kids, shared memories, or the potential consequences of divorce in a desperate attempt to persuade their wives to reconsider,” he explains. But at this point, Hudson says there’s an emotional switch that’s occurred for her, so trying to fix an emotional issue with a logical solution won’t work. “All these things that they’re doing will feel manipulative because they're now only doing it when she's pulling away.”  

“The first thing we teach men is to pause,” Hudson shares. “Allow that space with her and stop pressuring her.” This is a good moment to look inward and see where you may have become disconnected from one another, because “When they finally look at themselves in the mirror, they recognize unanimously that they're not the man they used to be.”  

What happens is over the years, men lose sight of who they used to be and how they were when they met their wives. “They had all these pieces to themselves, and they were giving these pieces away to everyone else in their life, and there was nothing left for her to love,” says Hudson. “We help them rebuild themselves as men. And when they build themselves up to the best version of who they are by proxy, the wife opens up and starts to come back.” 

“Our vision is to help a million men save their families and become the best version of themselves,” Lamza concludes. It’s never too late to save your marriage—the first step to rebuilding it begins with you.  

Learn how to improve who you are and “fall back in love with yourself so she falls back in love with you.” Visit Pinnacle Coaching here to get started with Josh Hudson, Marko Lamza, and their team.