Talarico gets what it means to be a man. His critics don't. | Opinion

Let’s try, for a moment, to remove politics from a discussion of James Talarico, the Democratic state representative from Texas running for the U.S. Senate.

It’s not an easy thing to do when talking about a politician, but let’s give it a whirl.

Since Talarico’s Republican opponent, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, won the GOP primary on May 26, he and his party have pushed the issue of manliness and masculinity to the forefront.

Talarico's opponents want you to believe name-calling is manly

The 37-year-old Democrat has been dubbed “Tofu Talarico” and “Low-T Talarico.” White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller wrote of Talarico on social media: “The Democrats made history in Texas by nominating their first transgender senate candidate.”

Conservative commentator Todd Starnes suggested Talarico might "have an affinity for frilly underpants.” Fox News host Jesse Watters falsely and not-at-all-subtly suggested Talarico is gay.

President Donald Trump has compared Talarico’s looks to that of MAD magazine’s goofy, big-eared illustrated cover boy Alfred E. Neuman, a dated reference but one aimed at insulting the candidate.

Setting aside political ideologies, these various men like Miller, Starnes, Watters and Trump are asserting there are specific standards for being a man. You can’t be gay, you can’t eat tofu, you must look a certain way and you must act as though you’re pulsating with testosterone.

Talarico isn't afraid to talk about what it really means to be a man

That encapsulates the broader thinking in our current man-o-verse of faux-tough-guy podcasters, politicians and influencers. Men must be bold, dominating and aggressive. They must mock other men who don’t fit their criteria. They must punch down. They must unapologetically hurl insults once reserved for awkward pubescent bullies, unconsciously lashing out over their own insecurities.

I don’t live in Texas. I’m not voting for a U.S. Senate candidate there, and I’m not writing this to advocate for Talarico simply because he’s on my side of the political aisle. 

I’m writing this because I’m a man, and I’m beyond sick and tired of the stilted, downright pathetic ways manhood and masculinity are being defined by bozos who were never taught humility.

I’m writing this because Talarico recently responded to attacks on his masculinity with one of the most concise, thoughtful and spot-on statements I’ve heard from a politician in some time.

'My dad showed me what real greatness looks like.'

At a campaign event in Plano, Texas, on June 1, Talarico acknowledged, "There’s been a lot of talk in this campaign about what it means to be a real man." And he talked about his adoptive dad:

“Every Saturday morning, my dad would mow our lawn. And then, without anyone asking him, he would go next door and mow our neighbor's lawn, because she was elderly and a widow. He never talked about it. He just did it, because that's what a man does. Call me old-fashioned, but a man takes responsibility, he upholds his commitments to his family and his neighbors, and he does what’s right even when no one is watching." 

In a similar speech on May 28, Talarico said: “Nowadays our culture tells young men that greatness is tearing other people down, is trolling and owning and dominating. But my dad showed me what real greatness looks like.”

Childish taunts and aggression don't make a man a man

Contrary to what the babbling opportunists selling a perverse, steroid-injected version of manliness claim, Talarico is right. There’s nothing manly about coming up with childish nicknames. There’s nothing manly about punching down. That’s just cowardice, a vivid expression of pent-up insecurity. It’s a tell that inside the hollering manly man with the glint of malice in his eyes is a child screaming to be noticed and loved.

Most humans struggle mightily with just being themselves. And I see an awful lot of men out there making themselves something someone else thinks they should be. 

Talarico recognizes that and speaks unabashedly about masculinity being closer to simple humanness ‒ doing the right thing, serving others, being a good person.

Does that make him soft? Many of his critics will undoubtedly say yes, because that’s all they’ve got for a response. 

Come at me, bro. Is that what you want to hear?

Does it make me soft for holding him and his words up as an example of what a man should be? Many will undoubtedly, and unfortunately, say yes. So my question to them is: What are you going to do about it?

Do you want to hurl insults at me? Have at it.

What does that say about you?

Maybe instead of reacting impetuously ‒ the way you seem to believe a man should react ‒ you could think about what Talarico said. Reflect. Look inside yourself a bit.

That takes courage. And toughness.

Talarico's uber-masculine critics need to stop acting like little boys

Since we’re talking about politicians from Texas, allow me to summon the words of native Texan Kenny Rogers: “Now it won't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek/ I hope you're old enough to understand/ Son, you don't have to fight to be a man.”

I humbly believe the late Rogers would think Talarico’s words about masculinity show more strength than all his male critics combined.

This ain’t the schoolyard, gentlemen, and you lot aren’t a bunch of little boys. Grow the hell up and act like decent men.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk.