Punchlines: Welcome back SCOTUS!

The Supreme Court is back, and they've got a couple of divisive issues on the docket. According to one comedian, that's a good thing. It seemed like, with all the problems the U.S. is having lately, we were in danger of becoming too unified. One of the more bizarre cases: A woman spread poisonous chemical weapons on the mailbox and doorknob of her significant other's mistress. Take a look at what another comedian thinks of the Supreme Court taking this on as a states' rights issue.

Watch more of our favorite jokes from last night on the Supreme Court, then vote for your favorite in the quick poll to the right. Watching from your smartphone or tablet? Then visit opinion.usatoday.com to vote.