Adult children want the inheritance now. They may have to wait.

America’s adult children say they are ready to manage that inheritance now. 

Their parents might disagree. 

A report from Fidelity Investments sheds new light on an estate-planning generation gap. Aging parents may not think their adult children are ready to hear about the assets they will eventually inherit, let alone to take charge of that wealth.  

The retirement industry is abuzz with talk of a Great Wealth Transfer, with an estimated $84 trillion passing from older Americans to their heirs by 2045.  

But wealthy elders aren’t in a big hurry to discuss those plans with the kids. Some don’t think their children and grandchildren are ready for the conversation. Others find the topic unpalatable. 

“There’s an uncomfortableness about talking about money and death,” said Cody Molacek, a certified financial planner at Northwestern Mutual’s Freedom Wealth Advisors. “You’re waiting for the perfect moment to have that talk, and it just never arrives.” 

Nearly every American thinks it’s important for families to talk about estate planning, according to Fidelity’s 2025 Family and Finance Study, published in November and focused on families with at least $500,000 in investable assets.  

But those conversations aren’t happening.  

Where's my inheritance? Boomer parents won't say.

Two-thirds of parents said they haven’t told their adult children they have an inheritance coming, nor how much they stand to inherit. Half of parents haven’t discussed their net worth with their children. 

But more than half of adult children say they want to know how much they will inherit.

Nearly all adult children, 95%, say they’re ready to manage their inheritance. One-quarter of parents do not agree.  

If boomer parents are reluctant to talk about money and inheritance with their adult children, experts say, they may be carrying on a tradition among their own parents. 

“Their parents went through the Great Depression. So, what’s in their bones is, you keep it close to your chest. You don’t share what you have,” said Ryan Viktorin, vice president and financial consultant at Fidelity. 

Many parents worry their adult children aren’t good with money. In the Fidelity report, two-fifths said they lack confidence in their children’s ability to manage debt. A similar share said they aren’t confident their adult children can stick to a budget. 

Wealthy Americans may want their children to figure out personal finance on their own before they try to manage an inheritance. 

“They want their kids, they want their grandkids to kind of carve their own path, face adversity in life, learn good money management,” Molacek said.  

Boomers: You get the money when I'm dead

Other retirement research suggests a similar generational divide in attitudes about inheritance. 

In Northwestern Mutual’s 2025 Planning & Progress Study, 74% of millennials opined that it’s very important to leave something for the next generation. Only 47% of boomers agreed.  

A 2024 survey of wealthy Americans by Charles Schwab found that many younger Americans want to pass wealth to their heirs while they’re alive. Boomers would rather wait until they are dead. 

In the Schwab survey, 53% of millennials agreed with the statement, “I want the next generation to enjoy my money while I’m still alive.” Only 21% of boomers shared that view.  

Don't wait to share your estate plans

Aging parents may be reluctant to talk about money and death with their adult children. But if you don’t have that talk, retirement planners say, you risk leaving your heirs in a tough spot after you die. They may struggle to identify your assets and debts, and to divine what you intended to do with them. 

“I think it’s important for the parents to sit down and at least give them an overview of their estate plan,” said Zaneilia Harris, a certified financial planner in Washington, D.C. “Just make them aware.” 

Sharing an estate plan with your kids doesn’t mean you have to tell them the balance in every account. Instead, it can be an opportunity to explain what assets and investments you have, why you have them, and what you want your heirs to do with them. It’s a chance to share your values. 

“It doesn’t have to be a one-and-done conversation,” Harris said. “And probably, as your parents age, you would want to have it annually.” 

Talking to your children about an estate plan also creates an opportunity to get the plan in order, Viktorin said. Take some time to organize your finances, she said, before you summon your heirs to the table.

If you have a financial adviser, Harris said, consider inviting them to join in a cross-generational talk about your estate. They can serve as a neutral arbiter. They can also make sure the session doesn’t turn into a negotiation about who gets what and when. 

“Set up a conversation in a way that feels comfortable,” Harris said. “It’s always good to have an independent third party.”