Trump is right, the pope IS weak on crime. Give him handcuffs! | Opinion

Once again, President Donald Trump is right. MY PRESIDENT wrote in a long and totally sane social media post that Pope Leo XIV is “Weak on Crime” and “Weak on Nuclear Weapons.”

That truth bomb riled up a bunch of radical leftists and people who’ve “read the Bible” and such, leading many to say it’s a bad look for the president of the United States to insult the spiritual leader of the world’s 1.4 billion Roman Catholics.

Well, let me ask you this, libs: Has the so-called pope made a single arrest since he became the Vicar of Christ in 2025? The answer is no. He has spent his time spreading a message of peace and love, encouraging people “to promote a culture of peace, helping those around us to overcome divisions and hostility and to build communion between individuals, peoples and religions.”

That sounds like wokeness to me.

The world can't afford a pope who's unwilling to make arrests

This is a dangerous world, and I’m told each and every day, by Fox News and various angry men who have podcasts, that we should be afraid of everything.

As Trump so correctly suggested, we don’t need a pope who “thinks it’s terrible that America attacked Venezuela.”

No, I want a pope who thinks it’s great we attacked Venezuela, and also attacked Iran, and also are killing random boaters who we claim without evidence are narco-terrorists. I want a pope who isn’t afraid to pick up a weapon and let loose on some bad guys, and by “bad guys” I mean people who I find scary because they’re different than me.

Why isn't the pope rounding up immigrants and deporting them?

On Easter Sunday, Lil’ Woke Pope was in St. Peter’s Square blah-blah-ing about peace: “On this day of celebration, let us abandon every desire for conflict, domination and power, and implore the Lord to grant his peace to a world ravaged by wars.”

He should have been in St. Peter’s Square rounding up immigrants, denying them their civil rights and deporting them to places where they would likely be in grave danger.

That’s what Jesus would do, and I say that because Trump also recently posted an AI-generated image of himself as Jesus. He wound up deleting that image, presumably because it did not include an eagle holding a machine gun, but the point was made. Trump’s way is the godly way, and this pope is simply not working out.

Pope Leo has his supporters, but shouldn't we agree that peace is dumb?

But it seems not all Catholics get this.

The president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, Archbishop Paul Coakley, responded to Trump’s social media post in a statement: “I am disheartened that the President chose to write such disparaging words about the Holy Father. Pope Leo is not his rival; nor is the Pope a politician. He is the Vicar of Christ who speaks from the truth of the Gospel and for the care of souls.”

If this pope came across, say, a president breaking laws, well ...

Why can’t the pope speak the truth and care for souls while also kicking a little bad-guy a--? I don’t see him out there stopping Iran from developing nuclear weapons by dropping bombs on Iran at a time when it was not close to developing nuclear weapons. Does the Vatican not have a Department of War? 

Look, all President Trump and I want is a pope who’s tough on crime. Someone who, for example, sees a convicted felon threatening to break international laws or using state agents to harass and dehumanize people, and has the guts to do something about it. We need a pope who, if he comes across a person with close ties to a notorious child sex trafficking ring, a person who was previously found liable for sexual abuse, leaps into action.

On second thought, maybe a soft pope is fine. Forget I said anything, Your Holiness.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk. This column first appeared on USATODAY.com.